Trouble with Imaginary Troubles
Understanding Anxiety
Rajesh and his friend Vir were walking up and down the terrace, with Grandpa Chowdhury relaxing in an easy chair, seemingly asleep while reading a book. “Rajesh, I couldn’t sleep last night, thinking about the viva voce,” Vir said, his tone pensive. “I have studied thoroughly, but what if they ask a question I can’t answer? If I fail in this oral examination, all my studies will be in vain!”
Rajesh, sensing his friend’s distress, replied sympathetically, “You should go and study more.” With that, they both left the terrace. A few minutes later, Rajesh returned and whispered to the servant who brought tea for Grandpa, “I think Grandpa is having a snooze. Take away the tea. I’ll call you when he opens his eyes.”
Seeking Guidance
“Look, my eyes are wide open,” Grandpa Chowdhury sat up straight, surprising Rajesh. “What made you think I was asleep? Just keeping my eyes shut doesn’t mean I am!”
Rajesh smiled, “But I bet you were nearly asleep!”
Grandpa chuckled. “I wasn’t! When you suggested your friend go study, I almost shouted ‘No!’” Rajesh looked puzzled. “Why, Grandpa? Was my advice wrong?”
The Need for Confidence
“No, Rajesh, your intention was good. However, what your friend really needs is a different kind of inspiration. He may believe he is well-prepared, but his fears are bringing him down. He requires self-confidence more than he requires more study. The unfortunate truth is that no amount of study will benefit him unless he changes his mindset from despondency to confidence and cheerfulness.”
Rajesh felt anxious. “How can he overcome his fear?”
“He should remind himself: I have studied the subject. The questioners are not my enemies. I’ll remain as calm as possible and try to answer them,” Grandpa advised. “And if he cannot answer a question, rather than feeling uneasy, he should admit that he does not know the answer! An honest acknowledgment of ignorance can be more impressive than wild guessing. Integrity is valued more than pretense.”
Facing Reality
Rajesh listened intently. “But if he fails, all his study will…?”
Grandpa interrupted, “Your friend has imaginary fears. First of all, the questions he faces will likely be within his grasp. Moreover, even if they aren’t, the knowledge he has gained is not lost. It stays with him. Anxiety will not help him at all.” He paused and added, “Here’s a line from Mark Twain that might help.”
Grandpa drew Rajesh’s attention to these words: “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” With that insight, Rajesh began to see his friend’s challenges in a new light, realizing that much of life’s anxiety stems from illusions rather than reality.
